WIBTA if I send screenshots of the mean messages to the parents of a family friend, an ‘influencer,’ who wanted to pay me for a commissioned painting in exchange for exposure?
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Art, Expectations, and Family Drama: A Creative Dilemma
When a struggling artist is asked to create a custom painting for free by her mom’s goddaughter, tensions rise as the request spirals into a battle of values and expectations. Jen believes that exposure on social media is worth more than the artist’s time and effort, leading to a clash that reveals deeper issues of self-worth and familial loyalty. As the artist grapples with her financial struggles and the pressure from her mother, the situation escalates into a confrontation that challenges the boundaries of friendship and family ties. This relatable story highlights the often-unseen struggles of creatives trying to navigate their worth in a world that frequently undervalues art.
Family Drama Over a Painting Request
In a recent family conflict, a young artist found herself in a challenging situation involving her mother’s goddaughter, Jen. The incident escalated into a significant source of tension, highlighting issues of expectations, financial struggles, and the value of creative work.
- Background: The artist, a 25-year-old woman, was approached by Jen, a 29-year-old, to create a painting as a gift for her father, a retired photographer. Jen had seen a previous painting the artist made for a mutual friend, Anna, who had compensated her for the work.
- Initial Request: Jen requested the painting for free, offering to promote the artist on her Instagram in exchange. The artist explained her financial difficulties and the costs associated with creating a custom-sized canvas, which is not readily available in stores.
- Conflict Escalation: Jen accused the artist of being greedy and lacking business acumen, insisting that her exposure would be more beneficial than the artwork itself. She even demanded an additional $200, claiming that her promotion would lead to significant sales.
- Personal Attacks: The situation worsened when Jen began to belittle the artist, referencing her medical discharge from the military and suggesting that she had failed in life. This personal attack deeply affected the artist, especially as it involved her parents’ pride.
- Involving Family: When the artist did not respond to Jen’s messages, she escalated the situation by contacting the artist’s mother, who has a close relationship with Jen. The mother pressured the artist to fulfill Jen’s request for a free painting, further intensifying the family drama.
- Final Response: Frustrated and hurt, the artist decided to create a quick sketch as a “free painting” and told Jen to leave her alone. This response led to Jen threatening to damage the artist’s reputation by discouraging her followers from purchasing her work.
- Aftermath: The artist received numerous calls from her mother and negative messages from Jen’s followers, leaving her feeling isolated and overwhelmed.
Now, the artist is contemplating whether to inform Jen’s parents about their daughter’s behavior, recognizing that they may not approve of her actions. However, she is also aware that involving them could drag innocent parties into the ongoing family drama.
This situation raises questions about conflict resolution and the importance of valuing creative work. It highlights the complexities of family relationships and the potential for misunderstandings when expectations are not clearly communicated.
This is Original story from Reddit
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
Story
My mom’s goddaughter, let’s call her Jen (29F), asked me (25F) to do a painting for her because she saw I did one for a mutual friend, let’s call her Anna. Jen wanted the painting as a gift for her father, who is a retired photographer. Here’s the thing: Anna paid me for the painting, and everything went smoothly.
She posted a picture of the painting with her mom as she was gifting it to her. Well, Jen saw that painting and became interested in one for her father. The problem is, she wanted me to do it for free.
She said she would advertise it on her Instagram and tell her fans to buy from me in exchange for the painting. I told her no, as I am not in a great financial spot right now, and I cannot afford to do something for free. She wanted a custom-sized canvas, which is not commonly found in stores.
I would either have to have it made myself or try to find it online for a reasonable price. I explained this to her, but she still didn’t understand. She said I already had the materials on hand and that she didn’t think art materials were that expensive.
She accused me of being greedy and not having a vision for business, claiming that her exposure would be more valuable than my art. She also said she wanted me to pay her $200 on top of the free painting, arguing that with her help, I would make so much money, and companies pay her to review things. She pointed out that every creative artist or individual, including her father, did free work at the beginning.
Everything went downhill when she noticed I wasn’t replying; I was working, and she started talking down on me because I was let go from the military for medical reasons beyond my control. She said I had failed at everything, including that, and that she was giving me the option to succeed and make my parents proud. Since I wasn’t replying, she called my mom to complain that I didn’t want to do a free painting for her.
As I mentioned, she’s my mom’s goddaughter, and my mom seems to have a preference for her. Mom called me back and demanded I do the painting for free. I became enraged.
Jen’s words about my parents not being proud of me stuck in my head. So, I decided to draw a 2-second sketch and told her that was her free painting and to leave me alone. She became really angry and threatened to post on her socials, telling her followers not to buy from me and to ruin my art career.
I’ve received a few phone calls from my mom, which I haven’t answered, and some hate messages from what I assume are her followers. WIBTA if I send her parents all the mean messages? I don’t think they would approve of her behavior.
Though, they are innocent older people that I would be involving in this drama.
View the Original Reddit Post Here
Summary of Reddit Comments
The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the original poster (OP) is not at fault (NTA) for refusing to provide free artwork to Jen, who is demanding compensation while also expecting free services. Many users emphasize that Jen’s behavior is unreasonable, suggesting that if she truly values the art, she should pay for it, and some even advocate for exposing her actions on social media. Overall, the comments reflect a belief that artists deserve fair compensation for their work and that Jen’s demands are exploitative.
Verdict: NTA
Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict
Conflict resolution in family dynamics can be challenging, especially when it involves personal values and creative work. Here are some practical steps for both the artist and Jen to consider, aimed at fostering understanding and healing the rift.
For the Artist
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to process your emotions regarding the situation. Acknowledge your hurt and frustration, but also consider how you want to move forward.
- Communicate Clearly: If you feel comfortable, reach out to Jen to express how her comments affected you. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as “I felt hurt when you mentioned my military discharge.” This can help open a dialogue without escalating tensions.
- Set Boundaries: Clearly define what you are willing to offer in terms of your art. If you choose to create something for free, ensure it’s on your terms and not out of obligation. Consider offering a small piece or a discount instead of a full commission.
- Consider Involving Your Parents: If you believe your parents can provide support without escalating the situation, discuss your feelings with them. They may help mediate the conflict or provide perspective on Jen’s behavior.
- Protect Your Work: If Jen threatens your reputation, document any communications and consider addressing her claims directly with your followers. Transparency can help mitigate misunderstandings.
For Jen
- Reflect on Your Actions: Take a step back and consider how your requests and comments may have impacted the artist. Recognizing the value of her work is crucial.
- Apologize if Necessary: If you realize that your comments were hurtful, consider reaching out to the artist to apologize. A sincere apology can go a long way in mending relationships.
- Reassess Your Expectations: Understand that artists deserve fair compensation for their work. If you want a custom piece, be prepared to pay for it, or consider alternative ways to support the artist.
- Communicate Openly: If you still wish to collaborate, approach the artist with a more respectful tone. Discuss potential payment options or compromises that acknowledge her financial situation.
- Seek Support from Family: If you feel the need to involve your parents, do so in a way that focuses on resolving the conflict rather than placing blame. Share your feelings and ask for their guidance.
Conclusion
Both parties have valid feelings in this situation, and approaching the conflict with empathy and open communication can lead to a resolution. Remember, valuing each other’s perspectives and contributions is key to maintaining healthy relationships, especially within families.
Join the Discussion
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
What do you think? Would you have handled this differently?
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