AITA for avoiding my mom after she told me to “suck it up” when I broke my fingers
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When Pain Meets Indifference: A College Student’s Dilemma
After a freak accident at the gym leaves a college student with potentially broken fingers, she turns to her unsympathetic mother for support, only to be met with harsh dismissal. Torn between her mother’s tough love and her own need for care, she grapples with the decision to seek medical help despite her mother’s warnings about insurance costs. As the situation unfolds, she faces the emotional fallout of her mother’s reaction and the complexities of their relationship. This story resonates with anyone who has navigated the challenges of seeking support from family while dealing with physical pain and emotional turmoil.
Family Drama Over Injury: A Conflict Resolution Dilemma
A college student experienced a painful incident at the gym that led to a significant family conflict. Here’s a breakdown of the situation:
- Incident at the Gym: The student suffered a heavy weight falling on their left hand, causing severe pain and distress.
- Seeking Support: In a state of panic, the student called their mother for help, expressing concern about potentially broken fingers and the need for urgent care.
- Lack of Empathy: The mother, known for her lack of empathy towards physical injuries and mental health issues, dismissed the student’s pain, advising them to “suck it up.”
- Waiting for Clarity: Unsure if the fingers were broken, the student decided to wait, hoping the pain would subside.
- Roommate’s Intervention: Upon seeing the student’s condition, the roommate insisted on going to urgent care, recognizing the severity of the situation.
- Financial Concerns: The student hesitated due to their mother’s warnings about their “terrible insurance,” but after researching costs, decided to proceed with an out-of-pocket X-ray.
- Mother’s Reaction: When informed about the need for urgent care, the mother responded coldly, stating, “you better hope your fingers are broken or else I’m not helping you pay for anything.”
- Diagnosis: At urgent care, the X-ray confirmed that both the pointer and middle fingers were broken, with potential surgery required for proper healing.
- Communication Breakdown: After sharing the diagnosis with her mother, the student received a dismissive response, with the mother laughing and suggesting the student should be glad about the injury.
- Ongoing Silence: Three weeks passed without communication, despite the mother texting for updates. The student felt conflicted about the sudden interest from their mother.
- Seeking Advice: The student discussed the situation with their brother, who suggested they were overreacting and that their mother likely felt remorse for her initial reaction.
The student now faces a dilemma regarding how to approach their mother in future conversations. They are uncertain whether to ignore her messages or address the underlying issues of empathy and support that were lacking during the crisis.
This situation highlights the complexities of family dynamics, especially during times of distress, and raises questions about conflict resolution and emotional support within familial relationships.
This is Original story from Reddit
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
My Gym Injury
I was at the gym when a heavy weight fell onto three of the fingers on my left hand. I was in such severe pain that I thought I was going to pass out. While sobbing, I called my mom as I was at college, far away from home.
I told her that I thought I broke my fingers and that I wanted to go to urgent care. My mom has never been empathetic toward physical injuries and mental health issues. When she heard me, she told me to suck it up and rest.
I figured I would wait for a while; who knows, she could be right. I feel I should mention that my fingers did not look deformed, so other than the bruising and swelling, I was unsure if they were broken or not.
While waiting, my roommate came home and saw the state that I was in. She took one look at my hand and assured me we had to go to urgent care. I didn’t want to betray my mom because she always said to never go to the ER or urgent care due to our “terrible insurance.”
However, I went and researched the cost of an out-of-pocket X-ray at the nearest urgent care, and it was only $200, which I was willing to pay. I told my mom this, and she said, “You better hope your fingers are broken or else I’m not helping you pay for anything.” So I was under a weird circumstance where I hoped my fingers were broken for the sake of saying “I told you so” to my mom.
I finally went to urgent care and got an X-ray. They confirmed both my pointer and middle fingers were broken and may need surgery if not healed properly. When I called my mom back later that day and told her the news, she basically laughed and told me I should be glad that they were broken.
Three weeks have gone by, and I have not spoken to her since. She’s texted me and asked for updates on my fingers, but I feel conflicted about why she’s suddenly acting like she cares when she clearly didn’t in the first place. She’s also not someone you can easily share your feelings with, so I’m not sure how to go about our next conversation.
Should I just ignore it, or try to bring it up with her? I was not expecting the overflow of “NTA” comments, and I have been asked about why I believe I am the asshole. I spoke to my brother about it, and he told me that I was overreacting and that she just wants to check up on me and probably feels bad for diminishing my issues.
View the Original Reddit Post Here
Summary of Reddit Comments
The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the individual is NTA for seeking medical help independently from their mother, who is perceived as controlling and possibly narcissistic. Many users emphasize the importance of establishing boundaries and suggest that the individual should prioritize their own health and well-being over their mother’s opinions. Additionally, there are recommendations for coping strategies and resources to manage the relationship effectively.
- NTA for prioritizing personal health over maternal control.
- Users suggest establishing boundaries and utilizing coping techniques.
- Concerns about the mother’s manipulative behavior are prevalent.
Expert Advice for Resolving Family Conflict
Navigating family dynamics, especially during distressing times, can be challenging. Here are some practical steps to help resolve the conflict between the student and their mother, addressing both sides of the situation.
For the Student
- Prioritize Your Health: Continue to focus on your recovery and well-being. Ensure you follow medical advice and attend any necessary follow-up appointments.
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Take time to process your emotions regarding your mother’s reaction. Acknowledge your feelings of hurt and disappointment, as they are valid.
- Set Boundaries: Consider what boundaries you need to establish with your mother moving forward. This could include how you communicate about health issues or emotional support.
- Communicate Openly: When you feel ready, reach out to your mother. Express your feelings calmly and clearly, focusing on how her responses affected you during your time of need.
- Seek Support: Engage with friends, roommates, or a counselor to discuss your feelings and gain perspective. This support can help you navigate your relationship with your mother.
For the Mother
- Practice Empathy: Reflect on your responses during your child’s crisis. Consider how your words may have impacted their feelings and well-being.
- Open the Dialogue: If you wish to reconnect, reach out to your child with an open mind. Acknowledge the situation and express a desire to understand their perspective.
- Be Willing to Listen: When your child shares their feelings, listen without interrupting or dismissing their emotions. Validate their experience and show that you care.
- Consider Professional Help: If you struggle with empathy or communication, consider seeking guidance from a therapist. This can help you develop healthier ways to interact with your child.
- Apologize if Necessary: If you recognize that your initial response was hurtful, a sincere apology can go a long way in rebuilding trust and understanding.
Moving Forward
Both parties should approach future conversations with a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives. Conflict resolution often requires patience and effort from both sides. By fostering open communication and empathy, it’s possible to rebuild the relationship and create a more supportive family dynamic.
Join the Discussion
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
What do you think? Would you have handled this differently?
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