March 2, 2025

AITA for asking a guest to not crochet at my bachelorette party?

Inline AITA Image 1 Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Bachelorette Party Drama: A Crochet Conundrum

When a bride-to-be invites her brother’s girlfriend to her bachelorette party, she hopes for a fun weekend filled with laughter and bonding. However, the trip takes a turn when the girlfriend insists on crocheting during every activity, from wine tastings to museum tours, leaving the bride feeling disrespected and frustrated. As tensions rise, the bride grapples with whether to apologize to her brother’s girlfriend or stand her ground, all while fearing it might jeopardize her relationship with her brother. This relatable story highlights the challenges of balancing family dynamics and personal boundaries, making it a thought-provoking read for anyone who’s navigated group trips or family expectations.

Family Drama at the Bachelorette Party

A 28-year-old woman is preparing for her upcoming wedding and recently hosted a bachelorette party that turned into a source of family conflict. Here’s a breakdown of the situation:

Event Overview: The bachelorette party took place at a cabin setting, where the bride-to-be invited three bridesmaids and some friends, including her brother’s girlfriend.
Brother’s Girlfriend: The girlfriend, 36, had been dating the bride’s brother for five months and was invited at his request. The bride was initially hesitant due to not knowing her well.
Expectations: The bride assumed that the girlfriend would participate in the bachelorette activities, as it was her first time attending such an event.

Conflict During the Trip

Crocheting Distraction: Throughout the weekend, the girlfriend chose to crochet instead of engaging in group activities. She brought a large project, which included multiple balls of yarn, to events like wine tastings and museum tours.
Request for Participation: The bride asked the girlfriend to limit her crocheting during group activities, suggesting she save it for after events. The girlfriend expressed that she wanted to enjoy her vacation by working on her crochet projects instead.
Disrespectful Behavior: The bride felt that the girlfriend’s actions were disrespectful, especially during bridal games and group outings. She noted that the girlfriend had labeled the bachelorette party as a “basic bitch bachelorette.”

Aftermath and Family Tension

Post-Trip Fallout: After the trip, the girlfriend was upset about the bride’s request to limit her crocheting. The bride’s brother has since pressured her to apologize, claiming she ruined the girlfriend’s experience.
Self-Doubt: The bride is now questioning whether she was in the wrong for wanting the girlfriend to participate in the festivities. She values her relationship with her brother and is concerned about potential fallout.
Clarifications: The bride clarified that she had offered the girlfriend the option to stay home if the trip wasn’t her style, but the girlfriend insisted on attending every event.

Conclusion

This situation highlights the complexities of family dynamics and conflict resolution during significant life events like weddings. The bride is left navigating her feelings about the girlfriend’s behavior while trying to maintain a positive relationship with her brother. As the wedding approaches, it remains to be seen how this family drama will unfold.

This is Original story from Reddit

Inline AITA Image 2 Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

I’m 28F getting married this year, yay! I went on my bachelorette party trip last weekend. The trip was to a cabin-type setting where we all stayed in the same house.

I have three bridesmaids but also invited some friends to come along. Part of the group is my brother’s girlfriend, 36F, and my brother is 38M. They have been together for five months, but she isn’t in the wedding party.

She wasn’t initially invited because I don’t know her well, and they live in another state. However, my brother asked me to invite her as a favor to him. He said that she’s never been invited to a bachelorette and likely never would be; I have no idea why, this is just what he told me, and hoped she could have this experience.

Since people would be paying their own way and the group wasn’t large, I figured, why not? She seemed nice enough. The problem is that during the weekend, she would insist on crocheting all the time, even during our events and games.

When I asked her to participate with us, she said that she took time off for the trip and wanted to make the most of her “vacation” by catching up on her crochet projects. She mentioned that playing games and hanging out with my friends wasn’t “fun” and she didn’t want to “waste” her days off—all her words, not mine.

To be clear, I don’t care that she wants to crochet in general. Most of our activities ended after dinner anyway, and we’d just hang out in the living room. I just asked her to save the crocheting for at night after the activities.

My issue is that she was taking her crocheting with us to places like wine tasting, brunch, a museum tour, etc. It was super disrespectful in my eyes because she’d insist on coming yet wouldn’t participate in the activity. Honestly, I was bothered that she was crocheting when we were playing bridal games, but at least that was in our living room!

The trip’s over now, but apparently, she was super peeved that I asked to limit her crocheting time. My brother’s been pestering me to apologize to her for ruining her trip. I personally don’t feel like I should because she shouldn’t have come to a bachelorette party if she didn’t want to do bachelorette-y things!

But I also love my brother very much, and I don’t want this to come between us. I’m starting to doubt myself because his girlfriend sounds really annoyed with me. Please help!

Edit

I wanted to add some details in case it helps because I think some people think I’m being a bridezilla.

She was crocheting a throw blanket about the width of my entire arm span. That’s what she was carrying with her to dinner, museums, wineries, etc. It wasn’t some small thing the size of my palm. She also had the materials for the blanket with her—about five balls of yarn? I’m not sure what you’d call it, but each ball was about the size of a cantaloupe.
We gave her the option to stay home. I told her I wouldn’t be offended if this trip wasn’t her style and she wanted to spend it crocheting. But she insisted on coming out with us to every single event.
Even though my brother asked me to bring her, she admitted to me that she wanted to come and that she had asked my brother to ask me.
She doesn’t have social anxiety. She just thought our activities were boring and a waste of her time. I mentioned this in another comment, but I overheard her calling my party a “basic bitch bachelorette,” but I didn’t want to confront her because I didn’t want to cause drama.
My biggest issue isn’t that she wasn’t giving me attention. Please! I’m a grown adult and already thankful for the friends giving me love and joy during the weekend. I just thought it was super rude to crochet such a big project during group activities. She literally brought her blanket to a museum and crocheted during a private tour!

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the original poster (OP) is not at fault (NTA) for the situation involving her brother’s girlfriend. Many users express that the girlfriend’s behavior, including crocheting during scheduled activities and making derogatory comments about the bachelorette party, was rude and inappropriate. The comments suggest that the girlfriend’s lack of participation and her judgmental attitude contributed to the negative atmosphere, and OP should not feel guilty about the experience.

OP is not at fault (NTA) for the girlfriend’s behavior.
The girlfriend’s crocheting and insults were seen as rude and inappropriate.
Users recommend OP communicate with her brother about the situation.

Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Family dynamics can be challenging, especially during significant life events like weddings. Here are some practical steps for both the bride and her brother’s girlfriend to help resolve the conflict and foster better understanding:

For the Bride

Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to process your emotions about the situation. Acknowledge your feelings of frustration and disappointment, but also consider the girlfriend’s perspective.
Communicate Openly: Have a calm and honest conversation with your brother. Share your feelings about the girlfriend’s behavior and how it affected the bachelorette party. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without sounding accusatory.
Set Boundaries: If you decide to maintain a relationship with the girlfriend, it’s important to establish clear expectations for future family events. Discuss what participation looks like and how everyone can contribute to a positive atmosphere.
Consider a Follow-Up: If you feel comfortable, reach out to the girlfriend directly. Acknowledge her feelings and express your desire for a positive relationship moving forward. This can help clear the air and show that you value her presence in your life.

For the Girlfriend

Reflect on Your Actions: Consider how your behavior may have impacted the group dynamics during the bachelorette party. Acknowledge that participating in group activities is often expected in such settings.
Communicate Your Needs: If crocheting is an important part of your relaxation, express this to the bride and her brother. Share your perspective on why you chose to crochet during the trip, but be open to compromise.
Apologize if Necessary: If you recognize that your comments or actions may have hurt the bride or disrupted the event, consider offering a sincere apology. This can go a long way in mending relationships.
Engage in Future Events: If you choose to attend future family gatherings, make an effort to engage more actively. This can help build rapport and show that you are invested in being part of the family.

Conclusion

Conflict resolution requires empathy and understanding from both sides. By communicating openly and setting clear expectations, both the bride and her brother’s girlfriend can work towards a more harmonious relationship. Remember, family events are about creating lasting memories, and finding common ground can help everyone feel included and valued.