AITA for exposing an “influencer” to her family after she demanded a free painting and $200 on top of that, threatening to tell her followers not to buy from me if I refused?
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Art, Expectations, and Family Drama: A Creative Dilemma
When a struggling artist is asked to create a custom painting for free by her mom’s goddaughter, tensions rise as the request turns into a battle of values and expectations. Jen believes that exposure on social media is worth more than the artist’s time and materials, leading to a clash that reveals deeper issues about support and respect in creative work. As the artist grapples with her financial struggles and family dynamics, she faces the harsh reality of being undervalued in a world that often expects artists to work for free. This relatable story highlights the challenges many creatives face in asserting their worth while navigating complex relationships.
Family Drama Over a Free Painting: A Conflict Resolution Dilemma
A young artist, 25F, found herself embroiled in family drama when her mother’s goddaughter, Jen, 29F, requested a painting as a gift for her father. The situation escalated into a conflict over expectations and financial boundaries. Here’s a breakdown of the events:
- Initial Request: Jen approached the artist after seeing a painting she created for a mutual friend, Anna, who had paid for the artwork.
- Expectation of Free Work: Jen wanted the artist to create a custom painting for her father without compensation, offering instead to promote the artist on her Instagram.
- Financial Constraints: The artist explained her financial difficulties and the costs associated with creating a custom-sized canvas, which is not readily available in stores.
- Accusations of Greed: Jen accused the artist of being greedy and lacking business acumen, insisting that exposure would be more beneficial than monetary compensation.
- Additional Demands: Jen further demanded that the artist pay her $200, claiming that her promotion would lead to significant sales.
- Personal Attacks: The situation worsened when Jen criticized the artist’s past, including her medical discharge from the military, suggesting that she had failed in life.
- Involving Family: When the artist did not respond promptly, Jen contacted the artist’s mother to complain, leading to increased pressure on the artist to comply with Jen’s demands.
- Emotional Response: Feeling enraged and hurt by Jen’s comments about her parents’ pride, the artist sent a quick sketch as a “free painting” and requested to be left alone.
- Threats and Backlash: Jen reacted angrily, threatening to damage the artist’s reputation by warning her followers against purchasing from her.
- Isolation and Harassment: The artist received calls from her mother and negative messages from Jen’s followers, leading her to contemplate exposing Jen’s texts to her family and the internet.
This situation highlights the complexities of family dynamics and the challenges of conflict resolution in creative professions. The artist is left questioning whether her actions were justified in light of the emotional turmoil and pressure she faced.
This is Original story from Reddit
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
Story
My mom’s goddaughter, let’s call her Jen (29F), asked me (25F) to do a painting for her because she saw I did one for a mutual friend, let’s call her Anna. Jen wanted the painting as a gift for her father, who is a retired photographer. Here’s the thing: Anna paid me for the painting, and everything went smoothly.
She posted a picture of the painting with her mom as she was gifting it to her. Well, Jen saw that painting and became interested in one for her father. The problem is, she wanted me to do it for free.
She said she would advertise it on her Instagram and tell her fans to buy from me in exchange for the painting. I told her no, as I am not in a great financial spot right now, and I cannot afford to do something for free. She wanted a custom-sized canvas, which is not commonly found in stores.
I would either have to have it made myself or try to find it online for a reasonable price. I explained this to her, but she still didn’t understand. She said I already had the materials on hand and that she didn’t think art materials were that expensive.
She accused me of being greedy and not having a vision for business, claiming that her exposure would be more valuable than my art. She also said she wanted me to pay her $200 on top of the free painting, arguing that with her help, I would make so much money, and companies pay her to review things. She pointed out that every creative artist or individual, including her father, did free work at the beginning.
Everything went downhill when she noticed I wasn’t replying; I was working, and she started talking down on me because I was let go from the military for medical reasons beyond my control. She said I had failed at everything, including that, and that she was giving me the option to succeed and make my parents proud. Since I wasn’t replying, she called my mom to complain that I didn’t want to do a free painting for her.
As I mentioned, she’s my mom’s goddaughter, and my mom seems to have a preference for her. Mom called me back and demanded I do the painting for free. I became enraged.
Jen’s words about my parents not being proud of me stuck in my head. So, I decided to draw a 2-second sketch and told her that was her free painting and to leave me alone. She became really angry and threatened to post on her socials, telling her followers not to buy from me and to ruin my art career.
I’ve received a few phone calls from my mom, which I haven’t answered, and some hate messages from what I assume are her followers. AITAH for exposing her texts to her family? Including the internet.
View the Original Reddit Post Here
Summary of Reddit Comments
The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the original poster (OP) should expose the influencer, Jen, for her unethical behavior, which is perceived as extortion. Many users express outrage at Jen’s attempt to charge OP for a painting while simultaneously devaluing the artist’s work, highlighting a lack of appreciation for the creative process. Overall, commenters emphasize the importance of standing up against such exploitation, particularly when it involves family dynamics.
Verdict: NTA
Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict
Conflict resolution in family dynamics, especially involving creative professions, can be challenging. Here are some practical steps for both the artist and Jen to consider in order to address the situation constructively:
For the Artist (25F)
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to process your emotions regarding Jen’s comments and actions. Acknowledge your hurt and frustration, but try to separate those feelings from the resolution process.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Communicate your boundaries regarding your work and compensation. Clearly state that you value your art and cannot provide free work, even for family friends.
- Document Everything: Keep a record of all communications with Jen, including her demands and any personal attacks. This documentation can be useful if you need to explain your side to family members.
- Consider a Calm Conversation: If you feel comfortable, reach out to Jen for a calm discussion. Express how her comments affected you and clarify your position on compensation for your art.
- Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends or family members about the situation. They can provide emotional support and may help mediate the conversation with Jen if needed.
- Focus on Your Art: Continue to create and promote your work. Use this experience as motivation to strengthen your artistic identity and business acumen.
For Jen (29F)
- Reflect on Your Actions: Consider how your requests and comments may have impacted the artist. Acknowledge that art is a profession that deserves fair compensation.
- Apologize for Personal Attacks: If you recognize that your comments were hurtful, reach out to the artist and offer a sincere apology. Acknowledging your mistakes can help mend the relationship.
- Understand the Value of Art: Educate yourself on the importance of compensating artists for their work. Consider how your promotion could be beneficial, but recognize that it does not replace monetary compensation.
- Communicate Openly: If you still wish to collaborate, approach the artist with a clear proposal that includes fair compensation. Be open to negotiation and respect her boundaries.
- Reassess Your Expectations: Understand that not all artists can work for free, even for friends or family. Adjust your expectations accordingly to foster healthier relationships.
Conclusion
Conflict resolution requires empathy and understanding from both parties. By taking these steps, both the artist and Jen can work towards a resolution that respects the artist’s work while addressing the emotional aspects of their relationship. Open communication and mutual respect are key to moving forward positively.
Join the Discussion
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What do you think? Would you have handled this differently?
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