AITA for Moving out, stopping the electric and leaving my roommate to figure out the rent?
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When Friendship Turns Sour: A Shocking Betrayal
In a tale of trust shattered, a young woman discovers that her college best friend has crossed a line she never expected. After moving into an apartment together, the narrator’s decision to lock away her belongings for safety leads to a shocking violation of privacy and trust. As tensions escalate, the fallout not only destroys their friendship but also impacts their financial futures. This story resonates with anyone who has navigated the complexities of living with friends and the potential consequences of betrayal.
Family Drama Over a Broken Friendship
A 26-year-old woman (referred to as OP) faced significant family drama and conflict resolution challenges after moving into an apartment with her college best friend, a 21-year-old woman. The situation escalated due to a series of misunderstandings and boundary violations, particularly surrounding a television and personal belongings.
- Living Arrangements: OP moved into an apartment in Florida with her best friend, allowing her friend to choose the master bedroom while OP took the smaller room. OP furnished most of the apartment, including a large 75-inch TV in the living room.
- Pregnancy and Departure: After a few months, OP became pregnant and decided to return home to give birth. Despite moving out, she continued to pay rent, planning to return to the apartment. Before leaving, OP moved her TV into her locked bedroom to protect it from potential damage, as her friend had a history of carelessness when under the influence.
- Unexpected Guests: A month later, OP’s friend mentioned that her brother would be staying over. OP had no objections, even considering offering her room to him. However, during a FaceTime call, OP noticed a large TV in the background and inquired about it.
- Violation of Trust: OP’s friend revealed that they had taken OP’s TV out of her locked room, claiming it matched the apartment’s aesthetics. OP was shocked to learn that her friend had used a knife to break into her room, disregarding OP’s boundaries.
- Escalation of Conflict: After a heated exchange, OP discovered that not only was her TV taken, but her room had been ransacked, her locked bathroom broken into, and her clothes worn by her friend and her brother. Feeling betrayed, OP threatened legal action, prompting her friend to accuse her of selfishness for securing her belongings.
- Final Decisions: In response to the betrayal, OP decided to remove her belongings from the apartment while her friend was at work. She sent her friend half the money for shared items and disconnected the electricity to prevent her friend from incurring additional bills. OP also stopped paying rent.
- Consequences: Tragically, OP lost her baby and returned to find the apartment in disarray. Her friend had moved out, stopped paying rent, and the delinquency affected both of their credit reports. OP felt the years of friendship had ended abruptly without any apology or accountability from her friend.
In the aftermath of this family drama, OP is left questioning her actions and whether she should have continued paying rent, given that moving in together was her idea. The situation highlights the complexities of friendship, boundaries, and conflict resolution in shared living arrangements.
This is Original story from Reddit
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
Story
I 26F moved into an apartment in Florida with my college bestie 21F. I let her pick her room, so she took the master with an en-suite, and I got the smaller one. I also furnished most of the place, including putting a 75 TV in the living room.
A few months in, I got pregnant and decided to go home to give birth, but I kept paying rent since I planned to return. Before leaving, I moved my TV into my locked bedroom. She could still use everything else, but I did this because she gets careless when high or drunk, leaving keys in the door, passing out randomly, etc. I didn’t want my things stolen or damaged.
About a month later, she mentioned her brother was staying over. He was cool, so I had no issue with it. I was actually thinking of offering him my room since he was only staying a few days.
But on FaceTime, I noticed a big TV in the background. I asked, “Oh, you got a new TV?” She said no. “Did he bring one?” Again, no.
Then she pans the camera and says, “Oh, we took yours out of your room. It just goes with the aesthetics.” I said, “But my room was locked?” She just shrugged.
I used a knife to get in. Like it was nothing. I blacked out, cussed her out, and ended the call.
Then I asked my maintenance friend from the complex to check things out. It wasn’t just my TV—my room was messy, my locked bathroom had been broken into, and both she and her brother had been wearing my clothes. I was livid.
I called her, and she finally answered when I threatened legal action. She said it was selfish of me to put the TV in my room because they had nothing to use. Mind you, we both had TVs in our bedrooms.
At that point, I was done. I had my sister and a friend clear out my stuff while she was at work. Anything we bought together, I sent her half the money for—including the dining table, even though I was being petty when I took it.
I also disconnected the electricity—I didn’t want her running up a spite bill—and stopped paying rent. Unfortunately, I lost the baby and returned earlier than planned.
When I got back, the apartment was trashed. She had moved out, stopped paying rent, and now the delinquency is on both our credit reports. Years of friendship gone, just like that.
No apology, no accountability, no nothing. Just one FaceTime call, and that was it. AITA for handling it this way? Should I have kept paying rent since moving in together was my idea?
View the Original Reddit Post Here
Summary of Reddit Comments
The top Reddit comments indicate a divided opinion on the situation, with many users acknowledging the complexities involved. While some commenters emphasize that the original poster (OP) should have taken proactive steps to protect their financial interests, others sympathize with OP’s feelings of violation and betrayal by their former roommate. Overall, the comments suggest that both parties share responsibility for the fallout, highlighting the importance of communication and accountability in shared living situations.
- Verdict: ESH
Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict
Conflict in shared living situations can be particularly challenging, especially when emotions run high and boundaries are violated. Here are some practical steps for both OP and her former friend to consider in order to address the fallout and potentially find a resolution:
For OP:
- Reflect on the Situation: Take time to process your feelings about the betrayal and loss. Acknowledge the emotional impact of the situation, including the loss of your baby, which may have heightened your sense of vulnerability.
- Document Everything: Keep a record of all communications and incidents related to the conflict. This documentation can be useful if you need to take legal action or if you decide to pursue mediation.
- Consider Reaching Out: If you feel comfortable, consider reaching out to your former friend to express your feelings and seek closure. Approach the conversation with an open mind, focusing on how her actions affected you rather than placing blame.
- Seek Legal Advice: Given the potential financial implications and the violation of your personal space, consult with a legal professional to understand your rights and options moving forward.
- Focus on Recovery: Prioritize your emotional and physical well-being. Engage in self-care practices and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate this difficult time.
For the Former Friend:
- Reflect on Your Actions: Take time to consider the impact of your decisions on OP and the friendship. Acknowledge the violation of trust and the consequences of your actions.
- Apologize Sincerely: If you recognize that your actions were wrong, reach out to OP with a genuine apology. Acknowledge the hurt you caused and take responsibility for your behavior.
- Communicate Openly: If you wish to salvage the friendship, express your willingness to discuss the situation openly. Be prepared to listen to OP’s perspective without becoming defensive.
- Make Amends: Consider how you can make amends for the damage done. This could involve financial restitution for any shared items or damages incurred during the conflict.
- Learn from the Experience: Use this situation as a learning opportunity to improve your communication and boundary-setting skills in future relationships.
For Both Parties:
- Consider Mediation: If both parties are open to it, seek the help of a neutral third party to facilitate a conversation. Mediation can provide a safe space to express feelings and work towards a resolution.
- Establish Clear Boundaries: In any future living arrangements, prioritize clear communication about boundaries and expectations. Discuss how shared spaces and belongings will be managed to prevent misunderstandings.
- Focus on Healing: Regardless of the outcome, prioritize healing and personal growth. Surround yourselves with supportive friends and family who can help you navigate this challenging time.
Conflict resolution is often a complex process, but with empathy, communication, and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives, both OP and her former friend can work towards healing and closure.
Join the Discussion
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
What do you think? Would you have handled this differently?
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