March 28, 2025

AITA for yelling at a mom and her kid to get out of my home?

Inline AITA Image 1 Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

A New DnD Campaign Turns Chaotic: AITA?

When a young woman invites friends to join her DnD campaign, she unwittingly opens the door to chaos when a friend’s mom brings her toddler along. As the child disrupts the game and creates a series of stressful situations, tensions rise, leading to a dramatic confrontation. This relatable story highlights the challenges of balancing adult hobbies with the realities of parenting, sparking a thought-provoking discussion on boundaries and expectations in social settings.

Family Drama Over DnD Game: AITA?

A few months ago, I (28F) initiated a new Dungeons and Dragons (DnD) campaign and invited several friends to join. Here’s a summary of the events that unfolded:

Invitation and Inclusion: One of my friends, Sarah, asked if her friend Anne could join. I agreed, knowing that Anne, a mother, rarely had the chance to socialize with adults.
Initial Concerns: I was aware that Anne might be flaky due to her childcare responsibilities. I requested that she attend at least the first few sessions to familiarize herself with the game, and she agreed.
Frequent Cancellations: Over the next two months, Anne canceled every proposed first session, often at the last minute. I informed her that if she couldn’t make it to the next session, she would be welcome to join one-shots instead.
First Session Attendance: Anne finally attended a session but brought her toddler without prior notice.
Bathroom Incident: Upon arrival, her child needed to use the bathroom and made a mess. I asked Anne to clean it up, which seemed to surprise her.
Distractions at the Table: Once we sat down, the child began running around, causing stress for me. Anne attempted to manage him by placing him in her lap, but he became fixated on the game materials, which posed choking hazards.
Conflict Over Safety: I expressed my concerns about the child playing with the game pieces, leading to a disagreement with Anne. After the child knocked over a drink, I asked Anne to take him outside to calm down while I made the table safer.
Return and New Disruption: After removing hazardous items, they returned, but the situation escalated when my dog came out to drink water. Despite prior warnings to ignore the dog, the child ran towards her, causing a chaotic scene.
Escalation and Ejection: I intervened to prevent the child from reaching my dog, but he fell and began to cry. Anne reacted by screaming at me, and in the heat of the moment, I asked her to leave my home.
Aftermath: Sarah, who had carpooled with Anne, left with her. The remaining friends stayed, and although the atmosphere was awkward, we eventually enjoyed the rest of the night.
Public Backlash: The next day, I discovered local Facebook groups and Instagram stories labeling me as a controlling jerk, claiming I was discriminating against players and being overly strict. To make matters worse, Sarah, a long-time friend, is now not speaking to me.

Given these events, I am left wondering: AITA?

This is Original story from Reddit

Inline AITA Image 2 Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

A few months ago, I (28F) started a new DnD campaign and invited a few friends. One of them, Sarah, asked if her friend Anne could join. Anne is a mom who doesn’t get many chances to hang out with adults, so I agreed, even though I knew she might be flaky due to childcare responsibilities.

I asked Anne if she could attend at least the first few sessions to get familiar with the game, and she agreed. She then proceeded to cancel, mostly last minute, every proposed first session for the next two months. I told her I’m sorry, but if she can’t make it to the next proposed session, she won’t be in long campaigns; she’s still welcome to join one-shots.

She apologized and said she’ll make it. She made it, but brought her toddler without asking. As soon as they came, the kid needed to use the bathroom.

He made a mess since he can’t fully use an adult toilet yet. I told Anne that’s fine but asked her to clean it up. This surprised her, and she started being a bit on edge.

We finally sat down at the table, and the kid started running around, looking for things to do. I was a bit stressed out by this. Anne noticed and put him in her lap.

But now the kid was at the table, which was covered in mini figurines, dice, pretty pictures, and maps, most being a choking hazard, along with glasses of various drinks. The kid started fussing about wanting to play with them. I was telling Anne no because it’s not safe; she told me he’s gentle and doesn’t put stuff in his mouth—we bickered while her kid was throwing a tantrum.

After the kid knocked over a glass, I loudly asked her to step out into the backyard and calm him down a bit while I made the table safer. She did, visibly embarrassed, and I removed everything except for plain-looking papers, pens, and paper cups.

I also did my best to calm down, as this entire thing stressed me out to hell and back at this point. They came back, and things were fine for a minute. That is, until my dog came out of my bedroom to drink water.

Now, I don’t have many house rules, but I have one that’s important: ignore the dog. They were informed of that before coming over. The kid spotted her and yelled “DOGGY”; Anne put him down “to say hi.” He made a full-speed beeline at my dog while making grabbing motions and yelling.

I stopped him by stepping out in front of him; he ran into me, fell down, and started crying. Anne started screaming at me; I screamed back and very swiftly told her to get the f out of my home. Sarah was annoyed and told us it took them an hour and a half to get to me, then went with Anne since they carpooled.

The rest stayed; it was awkward for half an hour or so, but we ended up having fun, and they even stayed for the night. I then woke up to the local Facebook groups and people’s Instagram stories calling me a controlling asshole, saying I’m “discriminating” against various players, being too strict, and “have a dangerous dog.”

To add insult to injury, Sarah, who I’ve been friends with for years, is not speaking to me. So, AITA?

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong agreement that the original poster (OP) is not at fault (NTA) for asking Anne to leave after she brought her toddler uninvited and failed to manage the child’s behavior. Many users emphasize that Anne disregarded OP’s boundaries and did not take responsibility for her child’s entertainment or safety, leading to a disruptive situation during the game. Overall, commenters advocate for the importance of respecting hosts’ rules and the challenges of managing children in adult settings.

Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Conflict in social settings, especially when it involves friends and family, can be challenging to navigate. Here are some practical steps for both OP and Anne to consider in order to resolve the situation amicably:

For OP (28F)

Reflect on the Situation: Take some time to think about the events that transpired. Acknowledge your feelings of frustration while also considering Anne’s perspective as a mother juggling responsibilities.
Reach Out to Anne: Initiate a conversation with Anne. Express your feelings about the situation without placing blame. Use “I” statements, such as “I felt overwhelmed when the child was running around,” to communicate your experience.
Apologize if Necessary: If you feel that asking Anne to leave was too harsh, consider offering a sincere apology for how the situation escalated. This can help mend fences and show that you value your friendship.
Set Clear Boundaries: In future gatherings, establish clear guidelines regarding children. Communicate these expectations upfront to avoid misunderstandings. For example, specify that adult-only game nights are not suitable for children.
Consider a Compromise: If Anne is interested in joining future sessions, suggest alternative arrangements, such as a family-friendly game night where children are welcome, or one-shots that are easier to manage.

For Anne

Reflect on Your Actions: Consider how your decisions impacted the game night. Acknowledge that bringing your child without prior notice may have disrupted the experience for others.
Communicate Openly: Reach out to OP to discuss what happened. Share your perspective as a mother and express any feelings of hurt or misunderstanding regarding the situation.
Take Responsibility: Recognize that managing a child in an adult setting requires preparation. Consider how you can better manage your child’s needs in future social situations.
Respect Boundaries: Understand and respect OP’s boundaries regarding her home and game nights. If adult-only gatherings are not suitable for your current situation, it may be best to decline invitations.
Seek Support: If you feel isolated or judged by the community, consider reaching out to other parents for support. They may have experienced similar situations and can offer advice on balancing social life and parenting.

Moving Forward

Conflict resolution often requires empathy and understanding from both parties. By taking these steps, OP and Anne can work towards rebuilding their friendship and creating a more harmonious environment for future gatherings. Remember, open communication and mutual respect are key to resolving misunderstandings and maintaining healthy relationships.