AITA My mother asked me to buy her friends son a day pass ticket with my student discount and I said no?
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AITA for Refusing to Help My Mom’s Friend’s Son?
In a tense family dynamic, a 20-year-old college student grapples with an unexpected request from her mother’s friend to buy a ski pass for a kid she doesn’t know. Despite her polite refusal due to work commitments and the complications of the situation, her mother accuses her of being dramatic, leading to a chilling silence between them. This relatable scenario highlights the challenges of setting boundaries with family and the pressure to conform to their expectations, a struggle many young adults face in the U.S. today.
Family Drama Over Ski Pass Request
A 20-year-old female college student finds herself in a conflict with her mother over an unexpected request involving a ski pass. The situation highlights family dynamics and the challenges of conflict resolution.
- Background: The student has a strained relationship with her mother, characterized by frequent disagreements and misunderstandings.
- Unexpected Request: The student received a text from a stranger asking her to purchase a day pass for their son at a local ski resort. The son is a friend of her younger brother, but she has never met him or his family.
- Involvement of College Peer: The request is complicated by the fact that the son’s sister, who is a year younger than the student, attends the same college and could also obtain the same discount.
- Work Commitment: The student has work obligations on the same day as the ski trip, making it impractical for her to pick up the pass and meet the family.
- Communication with Mother: Upon receiving the request, the student reached out to her mother for clarification. Her mother denied giving out her number, raising questions about how the stranger obtained it.
- Mother’s Reaction: The mother accused the student of being dramatic for declining the request, despite the logistical challenges involved, including the need for ID and waivers.
- Polite Decline: The student responded politely to the stranger, explaining her work commitments and expressing regret for not being able to assist.
- Aftermath: Following her response, the mother has not spoken to her, and the stranger has also ignored her message. The student feels validated by the support she received online, realizing that it is acceptable to say no.
This situation illustrates the complexities of family drama and the importance of setting boundaries. The student navigated a challenging request while balancing her own responsibilities, ultimately prioritizing her commitments over external expectations. The ongoing silence from her mother suggests deeper issues that may require further conflict resolution in the future.
This is Original story from Reddit
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
Story
For context, I’m a 20-year-old female in college.
My mother has a bad habit of asking me for random things. We do not get along, and we never really have. Today, I got a text from a random message asking if I would buy a day pass for their son this Saturday at the local ski resort.
Keep in mind, I do not know these people. The kid is friends with my younger brother, who is 17, but I’ve never met him or his parents. His sister is a year younger than me and goes to the same college I do, and she can get the same discount.
Not to mention, I have to work on Saturday, and I am not going to be late because I have to go pick up a pass at the ski hill and meet up then with these random people. So, I texted my mom about it. She claims she didn’t give the lady my number, but where else would she have gotten it?
Mom said I was being dramatic, but they literally request ID when you go to pick up the ticket, and I have to sign waivers and stuff in my name. The kid is 15; it would be a college student pass! So, I politely texted the lady back and told her I have to work, I’m not sure how all that works, and that I’m sorry I can’t help.
My mom is acting like I committed one of the seven deadly sins. AITA?
EDIT/UPDATE: Thank you all for your support. My mom has not spoken to me since last night when all this occurred. Her friend also ignored my polite response.
I’m glad to hear that I’m not being overdramatic. I need to learn that it’s okay to say no.
View the Original Reddit Post Here
Summary of Reddit Comments
The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the original poster is NTA for refusing to allow someone to use their discount. Many users emphasize that the request was inappropriate and that the relationship dynamics with the mother do not warrant such expectations. Additionally, there are suspicions about the motivations behind the request, suggesting that the sister may have already declined to assist, further supporting the original poster’s decision.
Overall Verdict
NTA
Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict
Conflict within families can be challenging, especially when misunderstandings and differing expectations arise. Here are some practical steps for both the student and her mother to help navigate this situation and improve their relationship.
For the Student
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to understand your emotions regarding the situation. Acknowledge your feelings of frustration and disappointment, but also recognize the importance of setting boundaries.
- Communicate Openly: Consider reaching out to your mother to express how her reaction made you feel. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as “I felt hurt when you called me dramatic for declining the request.”
- Clarify Your Boundaries: Explain your reasons for declining the request clearly. Emphasize your work commitments and the fact that you are not comfortable facilitating a request from someone you don’t know.
- Seek Understanding: Ask your mother about her perspective. Understanding her motivations may help you both find common ground and address any underlying issues in your relationship.
- Consider Professional Help: If the conflict persists, suggest family counseling. A neutral third party can facilitate discussions and help both of you express your feelings constructively.
For the Mother
- Reflect on Your Expectations: Consider why you expected your daughter to fulfill the request. Acknowledge that her boundaries are valid and that she has her own commitments.
- Communicate Your Feelings: Share your feelings with your daughter without placing blame. For example, you might say, “I felt disappointed when you declined the request because I thought it would be a nice gesture.”
- Listen Actively: Be open to hearing your daughter’s side of the story. Validate her feelings and acknowledge the challenges she faced in the situation.
- Apologize if Necessary: If you realize that your reaction was overly harsh, consider apologizing. A simple acknowledgment can go a long way in mending the relationship.
- Encourage Open Dialogue: Foster an environment where both of you can express your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This can help prevent future misunderstandings.
Conclusion
Conflict resolution requires effort from both sides. By approaching the situation with empathy and a willingness to communicate, both the student and her mother can work towards a healthier relationship. Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries, and understanding each other’s perspectives is key to moving forward.
Join the Discussion
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
What do you think? Would you have handled this differently?
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